Quarantine Sunday: A Change Gotta Come
It's Sunday, April 19, we are quarantined and I have:
1,664 unread work emails,
a grant for $500K to write for a new program at XU,
another grant to write for $110K in emergency funds for our students,
at least $1M more dollars to raise to make goal for Corps and Foundations (on avg. I bring in $3.5M/year alone and manage nearly $5M in private gifts)
grant reports due (because I'm also serving as Grants Manager and Prospect Researcher in the absence of these two full-time employees),
a COVID-19 and AA Community Impact Panel to finalize (April 29),
a review to write for a journal,
a personal website to update,
two doc student general exams to review (I sit on their dissertation committees),
a doc students dissertation data analysis to review (2 weeks overdue),
a doc student phone call to return,
two syllabi to write for a new proposed DEI undergraduate certificate program via my Center,
a paper on loving Blackness to finalize,
dinner to cook,
water to drink
and exercise to schedule.
Oh and I can't forget about the plants to water.
This does not even begin to include the non-profit board work that I have yet to begin to work on or the prep work for various podcasts or webinars I've agreed to serve as a panelist in/for.
Unfortunately, this is a normal week of work not withstanding the meetings, fundraisers, and social events on evenings after work hours. This is not complaining, but I had to write it out to understand the craziness of my own daily/weekly reality for the last 3 years at least.
I love everything that I do, but this time away has taught me that this is absolutely no longer sustainable.
Writing this out, I now understand why people say that I'm not dating because I feel unavailable. I have been unavailable and I'm glad that I've come to the realization on my own that something has gotta change.
I'm summoning the Ancestor Octavia E. Butler and praying for change and I'm standing agreement with the Ancestor Uncle Jimmy Baldwin, who wrote decades ago:
"We are in the middle of an immense metamorphosis here which will, it is devoutly hoped, rob us of our myths and give us our history, which will destroy our attitudes and give us back our personalities."
A change. I need a change. I complete turn. A metamorphosis.
Better late than never, I guess.
Even still, I am grateful to still be employed during a time when many others are not. Immense gratitude for having a job and being able to use my gifts to help our students continue their education.
Be well. Be still. Trust in the Infinite. Remember our shared humanity. Be community. Be of good courage.